Yes
-
Audio Recording by George Hahn
I recently spoke at the WSJ Europe CEO conference, and within days a clip from my talk was viewed 7 million times on TikTok. Rewarding, as Elon Musk had spoken earlier in the day and received … fewer. Yes, I’m petty that way.
Anyway, the gist of the clip was that young people’s time spent outside of the house is a forward-looking indicator of their success. I received a ton of feedback, mostly correlated to age. People my age agreed, and younger people felt my comments failed to read the room (i.e., how the world has changed).
I believe your 20s are for making money, establishing relationships, and getting in shape — finance, fellowship, and fitness. It’s true that some variation of these objectives can be accomplished online. However — as with sex and concerts — the in-person experience is better and yields greater returns. In sum, get out of the house.
Epidemic
One piece of feedback that resonated is everything has become so expensive that it makes sense to spend more time at home. Half of Americans spend more than a third of their household income on rent, transportation has skyrocketed, and incomes are not keeping up: Over the past sixty years, income has increased only 15% after inflation. However, the anger (I believe) is tied to relativity. Specifically, relative to older generations, the young haven’t shared in the immense prosperity the nation has registered over the past several decades. Yeah, their life is better in many ways, but when it’s much better for an older generation, who keep voting to give themselves more money … young adults get justifiably pissed off. One of my TikTok critics put it perfectly: “It’s expensive to not be at home.” Think about this: A generation believes, and not without some reason, they can’t afford to leave the house. In America we have mistaken prosperity for progress.
A hundred years ago the greatest threat to young people in America was scarcity. We’ve come a long way since then. Food insecurity has reached record lows; so has child poverty. Now threats stem from abundance. Among children, 1 in 5 are obese, up fourfold from 1965. Extreme wealth inequality has hamstrung access to economic security — the older generation has become twice as wealthy in the past three decades, and young people have witnessed their wealth get cut in half.
Prosperity, distributed inequitably, has made us less happy, as many young people turn to online, lower-risk means of pursuing dopamine. Young adults’ loneliness rates have increased every year since 1976. In the past decade, teen depression rates have doubled. One-third of Americans report having fewer than three close friends (up from 16% in 1990), and 12% say they have no close friends at all. As reported by the U.S. Surgeon General: Loneliness is a national epidemic. I also wrote about it here.
Vaccine
No single thing caused our loneliness crisis, and there is no one remedy. However, stepping outside is a step in the right direction. Being outside offers a wealth of positive benefits: It lowers blood pressure and heart rate, enhances immune function, and decreases the likelihood of diabetes and cardiovascular mortality. Exposure to sunlight increases testosterone levels in men, while trips to the park improve health outcomes and create resilience in children who’ve experienced trauma, abuse, and poverty. Spending two hours per week outside has been shown to significantly increase health and happiness. Some doctors prescribe time spent in nature. The Swedes have a word for this, friluftsliv, “living close to nature,” and they offer tax breaks for companies with policies that encourage it. The biggest threat to this lifestyle? The crowding out of the outside world by our devices, consumed mostly in the inside world.
Meeting strangers and experiencing novel environments is fundamental to human growth. Our podcast producer, Caroline, said this week that she’s cultivating a practice of “say yes to everything.” I love this. The comfortable and the familiar are the harbingers of weakness and fear. Without rejection and awkwardness, you won’t experience victory or true satisfaction … that you’ve achieved something. Greatness is in the agency of others, as is true reward.
A common saying in my youth: “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” This was mostly true, as the “after” part usually involved (more) alcohol and chasing a high and an environment that peaked at midnight. The chase, if repeated too often, can begin to impair your ability to register progress during the day, which is key to your success at night. Simply put … it’s all about what you do during the day. I believe this should be modified for a post-Covid world to “it’s all about what you do outside of the home.” The point of differentiation between those making a living and those having a significant impact will, I believe, be a function of their success in the physical presence of others.
The American Dream/Dystopia
The American Dream used to be buying a home. The new American reality is never leaving it, as it costs so much to get into that many don’t feel they have the disposable income to venture outside. Accounting for inflation, house prices have risen 118% in the past 60 years. When I was a kid, the median home cost just over 2x median income. By the time I graduated from business school in the 1990s, it was nearly 3.5x, and now it’s well over 4x. More people are renting, and rents are going up.
Spending outrageous amounts on housing levies additional costs on your well-being, because you stop … living. This is all part of a dangerous trend in America: an economy increasingly built on scarcity that benefits the incumbents — the old and financially secure. Limiting freshman college seats, housing permits, and new customers sends the value of existing degree holders, houses, and Big Tech shares soaring. We need legislation that creates a torrent of housing permits, reverses the flow of capital and opportunity back to young people, and pursues antitrust enforcement. But I digress.
Second Place & Sloppy
Going on to the second place and being more forthright with your emotions are asset classes that are oversold. Similar to Florida real estate in 2010, they offer huge returns. After brunch/CrossFit/writing class, walk around or grab coffee. Organize a backyard BBQ or beers on the roof. Also, when any positive feeling or thought strikes you, emote it. Tell your friends you hope you’ll be friends for life; tell people you are attracted to them; laugh out loud and touch people. We are emotional, physical beings — to not express our emotions in person, through shared experiences, is to be less human. Less alive.
Species
We are a social species — a million years of evolution have made us most comfortable in small groups of other humans, telling stories and challenging one another. That’s not to say we should make a prison of our instincts; nature makes us crave salt and fat, too. Nor does this mean excluding digital contact. I celebrate that my father can see his grandkids on FaceTime, and I’ve recorded podcasts from Tokyo, Osaka, Riyadh, San Diego, Seattle, Austin, New York, and London … in the past month. You’re reading or listening to this thanks to online media, and it was TikTok that brought a message to 7 million people and catalyzed a dialogue.
For most uber-successful people, however, online activity is leverage for relationships and achievements established in person. The only way you will be loved by others, get to love them, and live a life you do not deserve is to take uncomfortable risks. Today the risks are mundane but offer greater returns. Say yes, go to the second place, and be promiscuous when it comes to expressing your regard, interest, and love for others. You will experience disappointment, sore muscles, hangovers, and awkward moments. And looking back, you will regret none of it. Say yes.
Life is so rich,
P.S. Section is launching five new business bootcamps in fall 2023. Each is limited to 100 people, so join the waitlist now to secure your spot:
- Vet Your Business Idea Bootcamp
- Launch Your Solopreneur Business Bootcamp
- Grow Your Small Business Bootcamp
- Marketing Mini-MBA
- AI for Business Bootcamp
P.P.S. This week on the Prof G Pod, I spoke with author Ryan Holiday about parenting and how to practice patience, rethink outsized reactions, and teach discipline.
Scott,
As I said, I don’t know if the unethical hypnotherapist contacted you. It likes to tell me it’s doing things like that.
I do know that it contacted several Psychology Today writers, who decided to taunt a person asking about a professional complaint. I guess that’s their and editor Kaja Perina’s version of professional courtesy. All of those writers knew that the hypnotist going into my head without my knowledge or consent and refusing to leave is against its and their ethics code. If Perina were a competent editor, she’d have the same knowledge and — let’s face it — if she were a rational or even non-sociopathic human being, she wouldn’t have to check the ethics code. She’d know she wouldn’t want someone to do that to her, and she wouldn’t want to do it to anyone else.
What the unethical hypnotherapist does is like the Nazi experiment. It’s an authority figure that asks people to do things wrong, and it asks them to do it to me or overlook when it does. That means that everyone it asked or talked to would make a damn good Hitler follower. As I said, I don’t know if that’s you, but it’s been a lot of people over the years.
I’ll also note that the only ethical violation by hypnotherapists I’ve ever seen reports of action against is vaginal rape. I’m sure that’s not the only violation they commit, simply the only one that ever gets action.
I think you’ve got a reasonably good perspective on most of your views. Keep up the good work. I appreciate your thoughts and style. Kudo’s
Scott,
I don’t know if you know, but I posted some comments elsewhere that I hope will create the situation where the unethical hypnotherapist vacates my head. I went ahead and did it because I’m hoping others will be able to stand up to bad situations, and when a hypnotherapist gets into your head without your knowledge or consent, I can’t think of one worse. I don’t know if the unethical hypnotherapist got in touch with you after I posted–it has been in touch with too many people in my life; I wasn’t sure if it would bother with you because I posted a comment–but I hope if it did, you thought about it long enough to realize that it’s unethical and abhorrent to enter someone’s head without permission. If it did, I guess you know it’s there, and I hope you figured out that I’m not bullshitting you. There really is a hypnotherapist in my head that shouldn’t be there. If you know there is, I hope you’ll let the hypnotherapist know that what it’s doing to me is unacceptable. No hypnotherapist should ever go into anyone’s head without the person’s knowledge or permission.
I really did get snickering tipoffs from some unprofessional psychologists and hypnotherapists at unethical Psychology Today that clued me in that the unethical hypnotherapist had contacted them and gotten them to help it gaslight me.
Taking issue with just one point: obesity is not simply a manifestation of abundance but of poverty. It is cheaper to buy McDonalds that to buy fresh produce. If you look at the demographics of obesity you will find a strong correlation with income.
Speaking of getting out of the house….
Remember that time we were all put on house arrest for a year?
Remember when we were all guilty until proven innocent.
All locked within our homes for a year because someone ate a bat in a wet market in China and then all of planet earth was on lockdown.
And in that year we saw the largest wealth transfer of our lifetimes, 30+ Trillion Dollars going from the lower and working class to the .001%
Small businesses were completely destroyed and shut down while the Amazons and Walmarts saw record profits.
And then we were all peer pressured to shoot up experimental drugs that didn’t work the way they were advertised ( “You’re not going to get COVID if you get these vaccinations.” – Joe Biden. Biden then goes on to get COVID multiple times after getting vacinated) and they had to start bribing people with free donuts or free fries to go shoot up experimental drugs with strangers in parking lots.
All because some person ate a bat in a wet market in China?
That sounds pretty stupid when you say it out loud, doesn’t it?
Knowing what we know now, shouldn’t we be asking more questions about what really started that whole mess?
Everyone suffered damages.
Everyone has skin in the game now.
This is not making sense. Usually the writing is very coherent, but this is not making sense anymore and the doubling down effect is not working. Usually Prof G knows and admits when he has mis-stepped or was incorrect, or changed his mind. To the ‘Yes.’ I simply have to say – ‘No.’ This is tone deaf, not listening, and is taking a firm stance about a viewpoint that is clearly misunderstood, and the slap in the face is the citing and using unrelated data and statistics. Take a pause. Don’t react, just listen.
Try camping out under the stars! Make a fire and have a couple beers with some friends. There is no other experience like it.
Bravo, Dr. Galloway. Your sentiment can’t be expressed more loudly and more often enough. Supplemental: for those concerned that “it’s expensive to not be at home”? Step up and turn your home into a real home, and say yes to letting them in. And by them, I mean family, friends, their friends, your acquaintances, next-door neighbors, subdivision community neighbors, and so on. Open your heart, open your doors.
Thanks Scott but I disagree. I spent the last 18 years in hospitality and event photography. Over the last 6 years everyone I work with talk about how we all feel disconnected, even in our over abundance of high energy socializing.
Recently I photographed a very high end party that had a surprise A-list musical guest performing for an hour with a full band. No one in the building was allowed to have phones on them because of it. I was shocked watching the 20 something year old waitstaff glaze over after barely 1 song. They looked completely uninterested, depressed, disconnected, burned out, like nothing could stimulate them. 10 years ago we would have freaked out straight through to the next day. This scared the shit out of me because despite the epic performance, I kind of felt the same way.
The core issue seems to be a combination of data overstimulation and too much access to people’s private lives through social. Constant dopamine hits, information overload have calloused our brains. RL can’t compete. We are not designed for this high frequency stimuli, subject switching on touch screens, and this much access to people lives from far away. Seeing someone in RL now doesn’t have the same level of access to their inner thoughts or half naked photos on their IG or TikTok feed. Real life has become less stimulating, less random, and now less personal.
About your comment on house prices…The period from 1965 to 2023 saw enormous demographic and social changes in the USA: the population increased by 79% and life expectancy increased by 18%. Add to that a doubling of the divorce rate between 1965 and 1981 (these people are still living) together with a quadrupling of the number of people living alone and you can see why property prices have risen so dramatically. A large amount of wealth has been gained by older generations because of this. There are of course supply-side policies that could help but you can’t ignore the demand side or social factors. Ironically, the fashionable story right now is population decline which will solve the demand problem but bring other problems too. It’s easy to complain about wealth inequality but the forces of socio-economics are far greater than any policies that weak-willed politicians are offering, bar a return to the failed Marxist experiments of the past
Meeting friends in person is easy and affordable, tks
Scott, I love your posts, however your statement below is real nonsense, in my opinion. Obesity in many sectors of society has NOTHING to do with abundance, and EVERYTHING to do with really bad nutritional guidance and choices.
“ A hundred years ago the greatest threat to young people in America was scarcity. We’ve come a long way since then. Food insecurity has reached record lows; so has child poverty. Now threats stem from abundance. Among children, 1 in 5 are obese, up fourfold from 1965”
Brilliant. This resonates so much with me. I moved to SF in my 20s, and did a lot of the above. My life is so much better than if I had stayed in my home town. It was hard, super uncomfortable at times, I took a huge risk; I had to change jobs and learn new skills, meet all kinds of new people and friends. In the end it was so absolutely worth it. I’m doing at least 10x better than I was 10 years ago. It still takes effort now obviously but I can’t imagine having never tried. Wayyy cooler story than never trying or being born with it if you ask me. Preach professor!🤘👏💪🔥🔥 🔥
Yes …more of this …get out …thanks Scott !!
We’ll said. I spend my free time hiking or biking, and I KNOW that it contributes to my physical and mental wellbeing!!!
Finance, Fellowship, Fitness- for the 20’s. In my 60’s with finances in place I get Fellowship and Fitness from…pickleball. Get outside , meet new people and excellent cardio. The sport is now attracting many in their 20’s too!
Great post. I think your commentary about “going outside” is excellent.
I’ve thought about running for Congress, the seat is open in my district . . . focusing on many of the challenges you have in your recent book (e.g., college education costs and opportunity) as well as select personal pet issues (e.g., empowering the plaintiff’s bar to sue select local governmental issues like prosecutorial inaction). I don’t agree with you views on climate change as the other 87% of the world is status quo (plus, smart guys like Barack Obama aren’t too concerned about climate change when the buy a $15 million estate on Martha’s Vineyard).
Bottom line, there are a ton of younger folks that have been disadvantaged . . . by the actions of the baby boomer political class.
Love the “ say yes” mentality to life’s opportunities! Saddened by your personal neediness and insecurity when you have so much…
I wish young people would see that there are so many activities that they could do that cost very little. Museums, hikes, sports in the park, even cleaning the beach. You get exercise and feel good about what you’ve accomplished. Invite friends over for pot luck. Play cards. It doesn’t always have to be overpriced tickers to a sporting event.
100%. Lots of free or low cost things to do pretty much anywhere you may live. It doesn’t need to be dinner at a Michelin star restaurant to be fun and entertaining. Turn off the phone (most of what’s on it is lies anyway) and go out and do something cool within your means.
Casual observation is that young people seem to be less inclined to move to where it is cheaper to live, and they aren’t willing to step down in house size when they move out. They think they should move from their parents home into a house that is equal to or better than what their parents have.
I would agree. No starter homes for them.
Another somewhat self-indulgent post Scott. Not to say I don’t love your posts, but your fixation on your fame gets a little old.
I agree with the guy who said this one was filled with the obvious. Yes, going outside CAN be expensive. But it doesn’t have to be. Get a dog! You’ll walk around the neighborhood and meet tons of people. It’ll be years before you know the humans’ names, but you’ll know the dogs names, and you’ll be happy you ran into them.
My youngest is one of those kids who going outside causes them a lot of anxiety. That said, he’s learning, but he still is more comfortable in his chair in front of the screen with his friends. I forwarded this to him, but he probably won’t read it.
Scott, what’s interesting is, as I read the comments, most of the responders to the blog are old. That’s a bit telling. And I loved the responses you got from the places where young people hang out telling you you’re clueless.
And fuck Elon. He’s a piece of shit! He thinks the first amendment protects everything from lying to very dangerous rhetoric. It does not. He demonstrates ignorance daily, and he’s headed for the trash heap of time if he doesn’t get one Hell of a lot smarter! He seems to think he’s a god, but he’s a child – a very spoiled child. And does anyone like those?
Yes, Dave, thanks for that.
Fix that fixation, Scott, on fame. As for that Musk kid, I’ll add my voice too: fuck him and the horse he rode in on.
Many thoughtful researchers, social observers, and chart-drawing types have been hanging out by the campfire for too long now pointing out the elephants in the tent. While I very much look forward to your NMNM commentaries, when will solutions be offered? If only to put them out there for us to consider and offer our remarks here. Time to put our rubber on the road and figure out how to move forward.
American dream? Not there anymore.
When I went to college NYU – Prof G. then law school paid it myself my first job making 35k; now that was the dream.
Better off abroad and visit send your kids and visit. Can’t live good enough in either coast – now FL is unbearable- so whats the point? And no I won’t live in Alabama or NM.
Yo , I’m not old. I know there is no fun there anymore. Rather be a big fish…..
Taken my marbles go home and play in another’s yard.
I teach my wife an Asian all the idioms so she’s ready to talk to the idiots back home.
Scott- you’re right you state the obvious- but spare me with the dick envy u and Musk
Just let it go. I want u to be happier.(song) It’s always good to read u but it’s the same script.
Leopards don’t change their spots – only at night.
You’re right on all- get out of the house- don’t ever leave your house – because you’ll live in a tent- and America is a lonely place.
But it’s over man- ChatChaos is here and we can only ask for a draw= be nice when we ask- don’t teach it to be a bitch angry.
But you live in the UK- good move- I left too. And it broke my heart. My kids will live there- right nnow they’re in pre-school so time is on their side. My ex-wife put me in a hole that takes years to climb out of. But I did it.
Bootcamps? Rebranding? give it a rest man- we know ur one of the good guys
Hug your boys and here’s some advice- don’t ever let them marry American or in America.
I’ll tell you where they can find good women like our mothers’ women that respect men and marriage yeah they follow us not some pipedream have it all or read stupid books like Lean In-
What a disservice women are doing to that country – and to young girls and women.
I know this to be true
The most important thing we can do as men is raise our kids to do the right thing always.
And beat ’em down- reprimand- when they don’t.
Its a scary world for them- we didn’t have this -crazies confusion chaos-
Forget Eves they’re way too confused- beauty or brains or just beauty? Maybe ill listen to that chick on IG or TikTok
There’s no clarity or peace there. But my son will know how to handle that because I’m here.
SOLID! As a 83 yr old scientist, biophysicist, triathlete and USAT coach, professional actor, had a commune, lived many lives, and working every day, I devoured this post! (burp) The many faces to helping our world situation are, at least, being aired more and more by those like you.
Regarding housing:
There are two big problems – Airbnb/VRBO and private capital. People with capital are buying up existing housing to rent. So are private capital groups who are buying up billions of dollars worth of private homes. They want your rent. We are driving to a subscription based economy where people with capital own the assets and people without just pay rent/subscription fee.
It has to stop. Federal housing loans were started because the government wanted to encourage people “owning things”. At the time they were worried about the rise of communism and “collective” state ownership. We are heading to a collective private capital ownership if we don’t do something.
Your first time on Real Time has me following you Professor and reading everything you write. How you are not speaking at every event possible in the US in every domain is beyond me. So much of what you are saying seems like common sense. Solutions to what is going on today a little harder to execute I’m afraid. Thank you for your insight and wisdom. Know you are being heard!
I don’t think you can reap the whole benefits of the online world and social media without first learning social skills and socialising.
I agree with you. I’m much older than you. I want young people to be able to enjoy their youth. Sadly, we have left them in an awful situation through no fault of their own. Forgive the college loans for a start. Train for new and better jobs that pay!!
Really interesting and it resonated with me as a Brit living in Spain for nearly 50 years. What you advocate is really the traditional Spanish lifestyle: friends, family, outdoors….
Really interesting that the argument against going outside is that it is too expensive. I agree that “going out” to bars and restaurants or clubs is expensive, but nature is cheap! Parks, museums, beaches and lakes are really overlooked with people my age. I did the JP morgan corporate run this week and it was a fantastic time. Meeting new people, going outside, and exercise all in one. Most fun I’ve had in a long time and it proves your point exactly.
I live in a small college town populated by mostly white left of center people who care a great deal about social justice issues, including affordable housing. However when a piece of undeveloped property near downtown becomes available perfect for a high density development (walking distance to shopping, transportation, jobs, healthcare) they object to the loss of the green space.
Local land use and zoning ordinances and permitting costs are the reason housing is so expensive. Rich people – liberals and conservatives alike – use them as a way to keep poor people away. If you are a builder and your only option for building something on a lot is a SFR which meets architectural guidelines imposed by the town, setbacks etc you have to maximize the size of the structure on the buildable area to justify the lot cost. And that’s why America has become a country of McMansions.
Its not just younger people feeling that they cannot afford to go out. I have a university degree, started a job 6 years ago that paid reasonably well, now I am struggling. Too close to my 60’s to try to change jobs/ careers. Toughing it out until I can collect my pension. Yes, I realize that I am privileged to have a job with a pension, but barely getting by today. Cannot afford a vaction, not eating out( unless takout pizza 1x / wk counts as takeout). Housing cost in the #1 issue! Tiny Homes are the answer if communities would support them!
In the ’60’s I asked my uncle, “can I get a radio phone for the car?” “Absolutely not” the reply. Be careful what you wish for. In the ’80’s it was pager and a bulky Motorola portable phone. Allowed me to work my PM business at the beach on weekends, fielding maintenance calls. Today I run my Property Management Business almost entirely on my IPHONE. Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose as I am hardly every free from the “call.” But it works.
I always think bullshit whenever I see the word BOOTCAMP in advertising.. On the other hand, I agree with everything you said.
The gross assumption seems to be that older people are basking in financial security while younger people struggle. There are many people in the “old guard” who are getting crushed and becoming increasingly obsolete, just as there are Gen Z-ers commanding six-figure salaries straight out of college in workplaces that caters to their tastes and needs. We need to stop talking about “shifting” wealth to young people as if there aren’t a majority of middle-aged and older adults struggling and running out of time to secure their futures.
I remember my father saying how his dad (my grandpa) told him “You should spend what you earn.” To which my father replied “Nope, I earn what I spend.” That’s a forward looking mentality indeed!
Is the increase in house prices also driven by an increase in the size of homes as in more square feet.
My comment on the TikTok post was basically how this advice obscures the underlying capitalism and social mechanisms that has made this old-timer advice so hostile. Also, which Galloway did not mention was that he was giving this advice specifically to young men, which without any other context apart of the video clip was scene as extremely sexist.
If people of the older generation, like Mister Galloway, want to see more young men (and women) “go outside” as what they consider as a good omen for worldly success then they should develop an economic, political, and social system and mechanisms to make going outdoors a better option than it is currently.
Only terminally online people would view a piece of advice given from a genuinely well-meaning POV to be hostile. People of the older generation want to see young people go outside for their own benefit–and some of that benefit could be actually making some changes to these vaguely (or un-)defined “underlying capitalism (sic) and social mechanisms” you ascribe to the “old-timers” (an inherently hostile and ageist term–those who live in glass houses, Andrew, shouldn’t throw stones). Scott and others aren’t making demands of you. It’s up to you.
Stay inside, by all means! Just don’t expect any of the gains that come from getting out of the house, meeting people, and making connections to come to you from out of the blue. And don’t for one minute think that your boogeymen of capitalism and negative social mechanisms will magically disappear without direct action, which takes… you guessed it… leaving the house.
Good luck!
I’m 27 and live in Chicago. My rent is going up 20%. An apartment that doesn’t look like it was seen during a drug bust in an episode of COPS is over $2,000/mo.
For the first time ever I’m considering getting the smallest place I can find to save $700+ a month and returning to office full time since I’ll have no room for a desk with 450sq ft. The change of scenery alone always boosts my mood and I even met a VP in the copy room by chance due to being in office.